Alchemy Journey: A Miracle of Metamorphosis
I’ve had a yearning for connection and belonging my whole life. You may think this
feeling started from the time I shared a womb with my identical twin sister, in fact, that is
what I thought, too.
For much of my life, connection meant safety. Safety was the sense of being accepted.
During my younger years my family nicknamed me ‘Butterfly.” To me, a butterfly was
light-hearted, joyful and beautiful. I was convinced that if I could have a light heart,
display joy and beauty, this favorable image would offer me the acceptance, safety and
connection I was seeking.
My perceived butterfly identity directed me to study fashion design at Parsons School of Design in NYC where I met and later worked as a designer for
Michael Kors.
It was in this fashion design context where beauty took center stage that questions arose
in me.
What is ‘beauty’ to me?
Was I embodying an empowering sense of ‘beauty’?
What about the ‘soul beauty’ I sensed within myself and experienced in others?
And especially -
What could I do with all the parts of me that didn’t always feel light-hearted, joyful or
beautiful?
These questions led me to explore a path of self-inquiry and discovery.
I took on meditation and the honor of mothering in my twenties,
yoga asana practice a decade later and by 1998 I began teaching.
Over decades I studied yoga from various schools: Vinyasa, Iyengar, Anusara,
Yoga and now the creation of yogaALCHEMY.
As I studied and became more and more immersed in the life-affirming teachings of the
non-dual Śakti-Śaiva Tantrik philosophy my life began a metamorphosis.
One of the main teachings of this tradition is that every experience in our lives, as well
every part of ourselves, nothing excluded and everything included, have intrinsic beauty.
This teaching goes even further to suggest that everything is meant for our awakening
and holds the potential to reveal our true essence nature, that of blissful freedom.
Really ? The stuff that was NOT light hearted, joyful and beautiful were essential to love,
accept and integrate so that I could thrive as a vibrant expression of me?
How could this be?
I will never forget my Anusara teacher training in 2006 when a story was shared about
the Butterfly and the Chrysalis that made this particular Tantrik teaching accessible to
my heart and my life.
It was shared that it’s within the tight uncomfortable confines of the cocoon that the
caterpillar starts decomposing itself into a messy soup to nourish the “imaginel” cells that
magically come together to create the butterfly. All parts of the caterpillar are required.
You can’t have the exquisiteness of the butterfly without the gooey caterpillar.
I finally understood that if I wanted to embody the true essence of a butterfly,
I needed to connect to the beauty revealed in ALL parts of myself.
Yes, even what I thought of as the murky messy parts of the caterpillar in me!
The TANTRIK non-dual path connected me to my capacity to transform self-limiting
beliefs, trust my worthiness and experience true joy.
Decades of study and exploration changed not only my perception of beauty, but woke
me up from the unconscious ways I related to myself, to others and to the world.
Now I live as a conscious partner of life that authentically inspires being fully engaged
with life in wonder, ecstatic joy & freedom.
Every moment is an opportunity to participate with beauty as the simple miracle of being
alive in a human body, in a human family, in a human life.
I cannot conceive of a more exquisite way to live my life than to be in loving service to
those whose hearts long to awaken into the beauty & joy of their own lives.